I always wanted to be somebody

 

 

“I always wanted to be somebody but now I realise I should have been more specific”

- Lily Tomlin

I always wanted to be somebody, and lately I have been reflecting on the person I have become. You see, it occurred to me that I am almost…..*gasp*…..MIDDLE AGED! Like, totally half way through my life. What does that even mean?

Rug

I always DID want to be somebody, yet I find myself still the same somebody I was back then. Still the same teenager grappling with the same issues and staring down the same demons, only now I have wrinkles, grey hairs and responsibilities. I guess I thought that as I got older all these issues, all these demons, would somehow have answers. But here’s the thing, they don’t. They just keep popping back up. Different presentations of the same issues. The same wave in different forms. So I am spending some time on self reflection. Trying to work out what I want to do with myself now and trying to stare down those demons once and for all. I am sick of carrying them around in a suitcase which occasionally flings open in the middle of a crowded airport terminal and flashes my undergarments to the world. Nope. Those demons get out here. I’m done with them. But this will not be easy.

How about you? Do you have demons you are carrying in your suitcase? Do you stow them or take them in your carry on luggage and grip them like your life depends on it? What did you want to do when you grew up? Who did you want to be? Now that you are all grown up did you make it?

Ahhh that deep stuff.

Stay awesome

x

Dear Time, I do not believe you are absolute

Dear Time,

If you are as absolute as you say you are then how come when I spend an hour cleaning the bathroom it feels like a week, and when I spend an hour hanging out with friends it feels like five minutes? How does two weeks of school holidays feel like two days and ten weeks of school term feel like ten years?

You see, I know you believe yourself to be a mathematical measurement and oh-so-very objective, but I disagree. I think you are very much subjective. I have often chatted to my girlfriend about what I call ‘The Time Vortex’. This is the zone we enter when we are not together. In this zone time slows down to a snail’s pace. Everything seems to drag like a slow internet connection. When we are together you are like a hyperactive teenage boy who forgot to take his Ritalin. You fly past without passing go or collecting $200, and before we know it she is gone again and we are dropped back into the slow zone.

It’s like I use up all my downloads in two days of the week and then go to dial up speed. The same thing happens when I win an awesome bargain item on ebay and I’m waiting for that package to arrive in the post. Those 5-7 business days seem like years. Every day I’m checking the mail box and turning up empty handed. I think “surely it’s been 7 days already?”. I check the date, nope, it’s only been 2 days *sigh*.

One last thing before I go, why, if you are such a mathematically sound measurement, do you speed up as I get older? 6 weeks of school holidays felt like FOREVER when I was a kid. Now 6 weeks goes past so quickly I barely feel like I’ve stacked the dishwasher. And now I am heading into a University semester where I will be studying a double full-time study load, working, and hopefully traveling to a rural town to work with some students to write a book. I also need to get my car inspected, registered, serviced and traded in for something bigger, and somehow be a parent, daughter, sister, granddaughter, lover and friend on some kind of decent level. Time, I don’t know that you’re really working for me. In fact I have this sneaking suspicion you actually look something like this…

Time

Yep. Pretty accurate.

I may write again at some point after this semester finishes, until then I will try to work out how to freeze you using my mind just like Hiro Nakamura

hiro nakamura heroes

Forever Yours,

Steph

PS If there really is a way to freeze you or if I could somehow get extra bits of you please advise immediately.

Embracing the rainbow – and help me choose my next tattoo

Hi Peeps,

Well it’s been a while. I have been sick and my youngest kid has been in hospital with a chest infection, but I’m BACK! I hope you missed me…. I’ve been doing heaps of knitting and crocheting lately. I should do a post about that, because I know how my knitting rocks your socks. But for today here’s a vlog from me…

So here is the short list of tattoos I like so far. I haven’t made up my mind yet, far from it, but you get the general idea. Tell me what you think…

abstract butterfly

Outlined Watercolour butterfly – would look stunning in ink

 

abstract colourful butterfly

Abstract colourful butterfly – I love it but I don’t know how it would translate onto skin

 

Abstract feather

Watercolour feather – stunning, but too many feathers?

 

best butterfly

Watercolour butterfly – gorgeous, would it look good in ink?

 

Butterfly 1

Blue butterfly – so far this is one of my favourites

 

Ondrash abstract art

Abstract watercolour nature scene – I LOVE this, although I think it would be hard to recreate

 

Red flowers

Red flowers – Simply stunning, but I don’t know how they would look on me and higher up?

 

red poppies

Flowers – again, gorgeous, but on me and higher up?

 

tree

Rainbow tree – pretty and I love the symbolism of the strength of a tree and the link to nature

 

So as you can see, no clear theme or winner. Which is your favourite and why? Do you have other tattoos that you think would look great? Leave it in the comments

Thanks and it’s good to be back. I have missed you all.

xx