“I always wanted to be somebody but now I realise I should have been more specific”
- Lily Tomlin
I always wanted to be somebody, and lately I have been reflecting on the person I have become. You see, it occurred to me that I am almost…..*gasp*…..MIDDLE AGED! Like, totally half way through my life. What does that even mean?
I always DID want to be somebody, yet I find myself still the same somebody I was back then. Still the same teenager grappling with the same issues and staring down the same demons, only now I have wrinkles, grey hairs and responsibilities. I guess I thought that as I got older all these issues, all these demons, would somehow have answers. But here’s the thing, they don’t. They just keep popping back up. Different presentations of the same issues. The same wave in different forms. So I am spending some time on self reflection. Trying to work out what I want to do with myself now and trying to stare down those demons once and for all. I am sick of carrying them around in a suitcase which occasionally flings open in the middle of a crowded airport terminal and flashes my undergarments to the world. Nope. Those demons get out here. I’m done with them. But this will not be easy.
How about you? Do you have demons you are carrying in your suitcase? Do you stow them or take them in your carry on luggage and grip them like your life depends on it? What did you want to do when you grew up? Who did you want to be? Now that you are all grown up did you make it?
Ahhh that deep stuff.