Lessons from a Social Media N00B

Posted by stephrogers in blogging, technology and tagged with , , , , , , , , ,

I started this blog back in November, and not only was I new to blogging, but I was new to social media altogether. (I’ve had a FaceBook for a while but only had ‘friends’ that I actually know in real life, which gives it a different feel). I went to WordPress.com and with much trepidation I signed up. I spent the first few weeks just reading other blogs. I followed the ones I liked and did research that way. I didn’t ‘like’ or comment on anything because I didn’t have my confidence up yet. My first post went out in November and I started picking up followers. Since then my blog has evolved into what it is now. A few short months later and I’m feeling somewhat comfortable with it, but still perplexed by some of the nuances.

I started using my Twitter around the same time I started my blog. They seemed to go hand in hand. I’ve had a Twitter for a while but couldn’t understand it or use it. Was it like FaceBook? Where were people’s pages? Through starting my blog I have explored Twitter a bit more and I can almost say I know how to use that too.

IT CROWD

Here’s what I have learnt along the way…

Followback?

At first I was confused by the follow etiquette. Do I have to follow people that follow me? Do I expect people I know to follow me? Do I expect followers to cross genres from Twitter to WordPress to FaceBook and back again? Say I know someone in real life who also has a WordPress blog, should I follow them? Well I did. Then they didn’t follow me back. I gave it a few months. I commented on their posts and nothing. So I unfollowed them.

At first everyone on WordPress who followed me I followed back. Now, if someone likes or comments on my stuff then I will click through to their blog and read and comment back. I read people who read me, I also read from categories and tags that interest me. I probably do this at least twice a day. I like bloggers who respond to comments and are interested in dialogue on their posts. I love that in my followers too. It’s all about the interaction for me. The list of blogs in my follow bar are ones that I really love and connect with. They are also mostly run by bloggers who encourage interaction on their sites.

On Twitter I still follow everyone who follows me. I tried to sync my FaceBook contacts but it didn’t work. I always click the ‘follow me on Twitter’ link from people’s blog pages. If I’ve missed you just follow me, I’ll follow back. Unless you have bad grammar. Then I won’t because it would make me slowly insane.

Blog style and how to…

I got some really good advice for setting up this blog from some awesome and experienced bloggers over on Carnies’ Corner. From that I took that my blog needed a unique design and some branding. I implemented that. I also put in some pages and widgets in my side bar to make navigation easier. It is a wonderful introduction to blogging when other more experienced bloggers on WordPress step up and give you help and advice in a non-confrontational way. I hope I can repay the favour some day. As yet I’m still a bit too new to be offering advice. I have to earn my stripes.

I also got some help with my blog by guest posting on other bloggers sites. I also had guest bloggers post here and here and here. It helped by giving me an inside look at the workings of another blog, and seeing the process of creating a post here on my dashboard. That sort of learning is invaluable, and all you have to do is ask another blogger if they would like to guest post on your site. I haven’t had anyone turn me down yet. WordPress bloggers are such a friendly bunch.


With regards to the technicalities of operating WordPress, I got a lot of info from Google. For example I couldn’t get my YouTube videos to imbed the way they are supposed to. I would put in the video URL and when I previewed my post it just had the URL as a link. I Googled and found a train of conversation on WordPress Help that suggested I put square parentheses around the link and add youtube= to the front. I did that and it worked. You see it’s been trial and error. I have formatting go crazy sometimes. I’ve ditched an entire post because of that.  WordPress Help Desk is really good though, and have responded promptly to my issues.

It’s a global village

Being from Australia, I have had a few time zone issues. For example, I am asleep when the daily prompts come out, and by the time I wake up in the morning there is only an hour or so to go before they close the comments. Plus every woman and her dog on WordPress have already answered the question, leaving me with not much to contribute. I have also had to be careful scheduling guest posts with bloggers from the other side of the globe. It can get tricky.

I have really enjoyed getting to know people from around the world though. I have met people who I would definitely call friends. That has been the biggest surprise bonus for me.

Learning to communicate in the virtual world

I have had to learn to communicate in a new medium. I am still learning. I struggle with the lack of face-to-face contact. I am a very sarcastic person and it gets lost sometimes in writing. I like to think it’s because I’m so funny and awesome that WordPress can’t handle me, but really it’s more like I am failing to adjust my natural style to the medium.

I often find conversations awkward. Everyone is ‘listening’ when you have a conversation in the blog comments. I feel like one of those annoying people that speak really loudly thinking you want to hear their whole conversation, but inside you’re really wishing they’d just shut up. I guess the difference is everyone has just read the post so it’s commentary on something we’re all familiar with. But I still wonder -  is it weird when someone drops in on a conversation you’re having with someone else? Is it like eavesdropping? Or not? I’m still not clear on that. I have seen it done a few times.

Conversations that are more private seem to happen when you jump mediums – from WordPress to Twitter is a natural evolution because most blogs have a ‘follow me on Twitter’ button. A jump to FaceBook signifies an actual friendship has formed. This takes a little longer.

Little nuances of virtual conversations take a bit of getting used to. For example, when a conversation finishes there’s no “ok bye” or “ see you later” like in real life. It’s like the end of a phone call in The Bold and the Beautiful, you just hang up. You say something, they say something, and then it just dies. This always leaves me feeling, well, blah, like was it something I said? Something I didn’t say? (those of you who know me are giggling now I’m sure. It’s never something I didn’t say!), and if I’ve got someone else talking to me I always feel like I need to say something afterwards so they don’t feel like that. But then am I being annoying by being too verbose for the medium? It’s not a chat room, after all.

So while I say I have it mostly figured out, there is still a lot that I have to learn. I am definitely way beyond the starting gate now. I have loved every minute of it. The only way is up baby!

Here are links to the about pages of some great bloggers who helped me out along the way. Please check them out, and if you don’t already follow them, make sure you click the follow button…

Le Clown at A Clown On Fire – I am forever a loyal Carnie

John at Society Red  and Adam at Live From the Motor City (Formerly My Right to Bitch), who both helped me out over on Carnies’ Corner

TwinDaddy from Stuphblog – I’m a proud member of the Stuph Mafia

Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher – The Mercenary might think that I found her through Stuphblog, but actually I followed her first.

DJ Matticus from thematticuskingdom - learning through guest blogging, it’s a beautiful thing!

To the above bloggers – I will be forever grateful for your help and it has been an immense pleasure getting to know you and reading your work.

277 Responses

  1. You’re a champ! I’m so glad I could help. It looks like you’ve come full circle, my dear. Keep pluggin’, keep feelin’ it, and best of luck to you moving forward! \m/

    Reply

  3. This is such a great post – I had/have many of those same questions (except about Twitter – I’m passing on that social media train for the moment). I sometimes have to remind myself that this is a PUBLIC forum when conversations start. I also worry that I reply to a comment too much – as in when is the back and forth too much? I probably suffer from ‘last word’ syndrome – but not for any ill purpose, I’m just chatty and usually their response triggers thoughts of words in my mind.

    I tend to follow the blogs I like or check out blog from those I always see in the comments area for blogs I read – but I don’t feel I need to follow back everyone that has followed me and I think that’s pretty much how it is with them. I used to follow everyone that followed me in the beginning.

    I’ve also met so many fabulous people in this world – people that I know I would click with if they suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

    Thank you for having me and reaching out to me when I was guesting over at Stuphblog. And now I know you followed me first :)

    Reply

  4. Can I just say “ditto” and leave it at that? Is that cheating? ;-)
    Love this line: “I like to think it’s because I’m so funny and awesome that WordPress can’t handle me.” I have that Right Said Fred song playing in my head right now: “I’m too awesome for Word Press, too awesome for Word Press, too awesome for Word Press. So awesome it hurts.”
    This was a great write up of your foray into this adventure called blogging. The friendships forged and the camaraderie here on Word Press has definitely been one of the biggest surprises for me as well. I didn’t expect to find so many talented people, so many friendly and helpful people, and so many people who were interested in the silliness I had to offer.
    It has been a pleasure getting to know you, working with you on guest blogging, and reading the bits you share with the blogosphere. And now I’m thinking maybe I should get Facebook just to make that leap to an “actual friendship.” ;-)

    Reply

  5. Awww….you’re a sweetie, Steph. Thanks for the shout out. I think your blog is doing quite well and I love your sense of humor and writing voice.

    And I’m glad we’re friendsies!

    Reply

  6. Thanks for posting this Steph! I’m in the process of updating and revamping my blog (just bought the domain as well which was all new and confusing!), especially since I move to England next month.

    I spent half the day yesterday looking up what a gravatar was, and why I should have one, and if I upload more than one picture can I make it change every time the page refreshes! (Answer: No. Well, not from my inexperienced google research.)

    I’m still confused though as to the difference between categories and tags (and which I should use for what), and why I want an SEO?

    I used to think that blogging was just a way of going ‘blah’ to the world, but it seems it’s much more complicated!

    Reply

    • Hi Mandy! I didn’t know you were moving to England, that’s cool, literally, like cooler than here (har har). I can click through and have a look and give any help I can if you like? I’m in no way an expert but I did get some good tips from those guys up there about setting up a blog

      Reply

      • That would be awesome, I would seriously appreciate it if you could! The trip has been a little hush hush until now due to work, but I think I’ll post my first of the new blogs tonight and announce it to the world!

        I’m trying to find a way to archive my old posts from previous years to an area where they can be found easily, but then not show on the main page. I figured out how to code to archive them on a new page, but then they still show on the main site as well. I limited the amount of blog posts showing to three on the front and just figured that once I write a few new ones that will get rid of the old ones unless people click back. Not exactly what I wanted, but it seems to be the best option.

      • I’m on my mobile at the moment. I’ll jump on the pc later and have a proper look around then I’ll email you. I’m not too sure on the archiving though?
        Did you click through the blogs I listed above? They’re certainly worth visiting to see how a great blog looks and feels. I really found that helpful. Do you follow many blogs? Follow a few of your favourites and read them for a while to see how you want to do your own.

  7. Everything you said in ‘Learning to communicate in the virtual world’, I can definitely relate. I find conversations awkward too. It took me so long after I started my blog to actually comment on another’s “what if I’m not welcome?!”. And I drive myself nuts over “was it something I said?” all the time!
    *awkward high five* Steph :)

    Reply

  8. That’s the thing about blogging, there’s always something new to learn. I just brushed up on my branding and completely revamped my 21/2 year old blog a couple of months ago. You are certaintly getting out there and making the connections!

    Reply

  9. Great post! I started this in November and feel the same way! Ironically, I follow some of the great blogs you link to and look forward to checking the others out.

    I’ve enjoyed meeting other bloggers as well. Word Press has been more fun (addicting?) than i ever imagined it’d be.

    Reply

  11. The eavesdropping bit is something that I have been wondering about for some time. I believe that it can be a little awkward, as in real life, if you don’t have much to contribute to the conversation. But, it can be hard to tell sometimes when people may ‘not want to be interrupted’. I now tend to think that it’s best to contribute to a good conversation. :)

    Reply

  12. Reblogged this on Life With Marlene and commented:
    Great post and a wonderful lesson in social media, which I learned, recently. Social media is all about socializing and by that I mean communicating via comments, sharing, liking, reposting and getting involved. I feel if someone doesn’t want a response or an opinion, then they should not post it. I also learned that when promoting a biz opp that you shouldn’t post like crazy about it. Instead post about things people can relate to, that will bring them to your page and on your page, you have your tabs showing all your biz opps. If they are interested, they’ll click on it and you never had to harp on them to do so. I’ve had much better results this way.

    Reply

  14. This is a great post. I’m ridiculously awkward in real life, and I really like social media because it’s easier to be myself, I think, without worrying so much how I’m coming across. Well, I still worry, and still have moments of insecurity (yes, the way that a conversation on Twitter or in a blog’s comments will just… end…), but it’s easier to separate those feelings from the actual interaction.

    I’m not new to blogging but I AM new to WordPress, and already I love how easy it is to find posts and blogs that interest me. I’m looking forward to forming many new relationships through the community.

    Reply

    • I’m not as awkward in real life as I have been on social media so far, but as I get more used to the medium I can really appreciate what you are saying. It can be easier and much less awkward.

      Yes I really love the WordPress platform, the best part about it is the other bloggers

      Reply

  15. Really good read. I think every one is a bit on edge when they start. I’m still learning the ropes. But I find it oddly calming to write and rant and ramble about what I want on a platform that other people can see what i’ve got to say. If they don’t like it then that’s they’re decision, the free world we live in is a wonderful one.

    Reply

      • I started in February on a cold winters night. I study journalism and sports at Uni and so I thought what better way to get practise and learn to love writing than to start a blog. Sometimes I go into hack mode but more often than not its just a rambling i write to help me get to sleep.
        I also found i write in certain ways sometimes which can really help me should i go for a career in journalism. I think of a blog as a training pitch, then my journo course as the actual match!!

  16. Omg, your blog came from God! I am a total newbie to the world of blogging – I started 2 days ago. I am literary checking my page every ten minutes to see whether somebody like or commented on what I wrote just to see whether I’m doing it ‘right’. Is there a right and wrong when it comes to blogging?
    I read what you said about twitter. Would you say it is advisable to open a twitter account just to get in contact with other bloggers? All my friends on Facebook are not really into this kind of thing…

    I know, I must sound pushy (I probably am) and ask too many questions (that, I’m sure of), but I would really appreciate some tips. I don’t think I could bring up the patience to just read and follow other blogs; I want to write! I just need some kind of feedback.
    I’m guessing that you have probably a million better things to do than giving tips to an annoying and weird newbie, who just doesn’t shut up. I know I would, but please? I’m not gonna say ‘pretty please wit cherry on top’ because that would make me seem a bit too desperate, although…. Ok, I should probably stop babbling now. If you have some advice for me (other than “shut up!” that is), please let me know. It would be really appreciated!
    Oh, and I am sorry for any grammar mistakes; I’m not stupid, just foreign. If you follow me long enough, you will see them disappear. :P

    I won’t say ‘see you later’, as that is unlikely, as you are in Australia and I am in Britain. A ‘talk to you later’ will have to suffice… Assuming that you would want to talk to me, which in my case is highly unlikely, but hey! A girl can have hopes, right?!

    Reply

    • Ha ha! Hi and welcome to blogging. I will have a click through your site later and have a look when I get a chance. Really the best thing you can do is read and comment and follow other blogs. It’s honestly the best way to learn, and if you read other people’s stuff they will often times read you back. Have you clicked through the links I listed above? Do that and click follow and have a look around those blogs. They are each very different, but all fantastic, and a great place to see how a great blog looks and feels. Don’t worry about the newbie jitters, as you can see I’ve been there too. It will get easier
      Steph

      Reply

      • Thanks a lot -not only for the adive, but also for answering! I will have a look at the other blogs and try to keep in mind that everybody started as a newbie.

        Oh, and don’t expect too much from my page!
        Now you can’t say that I didn’t warn you :P

  18. Good post, and congratulations on being FP’ed. I am new to the blogging game and am grateful for what I have been able to learn from others. Particularly some of the ones you mentioned at the end of your post.

    Reply

  19. it works this way to me too, especially about followback. i even check my notifications as much i open the web. and i think, I’ll be on the line you won’t follow because my bad grammar since that’s not my main language and I’m trying to post in English to get more global friend :) . whatever, this blog ‘things’ is really interesting and entertaining. :)

    Reply

    • Well hi! English as a second language? You get a free pass. The only thing I can say in another language is “excuse me I have my head stuck in an elevator” in Japanese! Try me, I’ll follow you!

      Reply

      • hi..
        You can call me Yuna,
        not a second language too, i used English when it is necessary, esp at my work environment (when there is an English speaking expatriate). :)

  20. Thank you for your insight into an area that can be very confusing for many, my self included. Infact when I first signed on to twitter I kept replying to my self; no wonder I was getting nowhere fast. But there is no rush we’ll all get it figured out just in time for the next boon isn social media. Which I think will have something to do with telepathy; but you probably knew that already,

    Reply

  22. I’m still new to this social media world, and I must admit, I find it very time consuming.
    I only have a blog, which I mainly use as a portfolio of my cartoon work.
    I’m thinking of stretching out into twitter, but fear the potential of even more time being consumed which may have been put to better use.
    Maybe I should put some time aside to think about it !?

    http://cartoonmick.wordpress.com/about/

    Cheers

    Mick

    Reply

  23. This is a great post, I really love how you explain this new to blogging as a whole. I just recently started blogging because I enjoy writing and thought perhaps doing this I can further develop my skills while at the same time share things I love.

    Reply

    • Thanks! How are you finding it? It really is a brave new world. I think I just started it because I’d always loved to write and it’s just another outlet, but it has evolved into so much more than that.

      Reply

  25. Amazing read!! I started my blog long back but somehow i never seemed to get the hang of it, i felt that somehow the storyteller inside me did not match with the typical blogging scenario. Trying to get back into it one step at a time carving out a niche for myself :) There is so much that i want to write about, so much that fascinates me, but its hard to combine everything into a single place.

    Social media has always been a sort of enigma for me, it is powerful in a good and bad way at the same time, but i love the opportunity it provides to really broaden my experiences!! I’m glad i stumbled across a wonderful blog here, will definitely keep an eye on this page :D

    Cheers,
    Anurag x

    Reply

    • Thank you so much! I know what you mean about trying to fit all your different thoughts into one post. It can be difficult that way. The blog has ended up as such an eclectic mix of everything for just that reason. Welcome to She Said What. I hope you like it here!

      Reply

      • waiting eagerly for your future work :) and eclectic is good in a way haha, i mean i know its extremely hard to classify my work into a few fixed categories and i am perfectly okay with that.

  26. I’ve only barely started with my own blog so I can kind of relate only to the first parts of this entry, especially about blogging etiquette and the followbacks and likes and comments. I’ve only commented on a few blog entries as well and the whole time, I kept thinking, “Should I used emoticons? ‘Haha’s'? LOL’s and ROFL’s?” Very confusing :) )

    I think I’m the kind of person who does see blogs as a form of social interaction but am too introverted to actually act upon it. I’ve written a total of three actual blog entries and was very apprehensive about posting them because I wasn’t sure how people would react or *if* people would even react.

    It’s just nice to know that I’m not the only one who feels odd starting out with this blog. Cheers and I hope i can get as used to all this as you obviously have :D

    Reply

    • It is an odd thing isn’t it? I did some human metrics testing and apparently I’m 100% introvert! I am always apprehensive before I hit the publish button too. I wonder if that ever wears off?

      Reply

      • Until now? Haha. I’m hoping it does for both of us then. But then again, the apprehension is usually the feeling that forces me to proofread everything all over again for fear of ridicule and judgment so maybe there’s some good that comes from it :D

  27. Yup! I can relate to all of that. I’ve been blogging longer but wordpress has evolved since I started, AND I really only seriously started writing my blog about five months ago. Anyway, awesome post!!! I like what you’ve got going here. :)

    Reply

  29. Good post and some interesting thoughts and info. I’ve been blogging since Feb this year which I’ve more or less got to grips with but Twitter has not heard a tweet from me yet. I ration my time for soc. media rather meanly. At the mo. I’ve enought on my plate. Good luck, I’ll be back to visit.

    Reply

  32. Wow. This is an excellent. I can relate! I’ve had similar struggles with blog following or not following? Comments and everything! Glad to have found you and looking forward to reading more :)

    Reply

  37. It’s always nice to talk to other bloggers. I’ve been running mine for over two years and have yet to get anywhere with it. Not that I mind too much as I use it mostly as a way of keeping myself in th ehabit of writing. Though I am hoping to take it more seriously now.

    Having just started a job as a copywriter for an internet marketing firm I’m surrounded by social media and there is so much to know that I sometimes feel overwhelmed (I had to write a post about Pinterest and it was then I realised I knew nothing about it. I signed up for an account specifically so I would have a better understanding of it).

    Like you I was a little bit hesitatnt with some aspects of social media, particularly Twitter. But now I think I prefer it to Facebook. Well done on getting to the Freshly Pressed page. Something I think we all yearn for…

    Reply

  38. Where can I find daily prompts? I always comment back to my readers unless they’ve slipped through the net somehow. I love wordpress! And having the app on my iPhone means I’m always reachable and tend to use my blog more than my Facebook now. I’m new, January 2013 :-)

    Reply

  40. I Love your blogs! I am now the newbie here! I have been on Facebook and other sites for a very long time, however getting back into the writing game is an eye opener.. I Love your page as well How did you do that? I would love to follow and read your things if that is alright Have a wonderful day !

    Reply

  41. WordPress has been great for us over at Vlizz (www.vlizz.com), a movie review and news site. We’re still settling into the routine ourselves, but it seems you’ve found some great help from places like Carnies’ Corner and Google. Keep up the good work!

    Reply

  42. i have been blogging for awhile and have learned allot from other bloggers that have helped me through good and bad times, i love this kind of media when used right its amazing, what i love the most is that blogging is a window to the whole world, anyone anywhere can blog if they have internet makes the world a smaller place.

    love your blog and keep up the good work

    dazzler

    Reply

  43. The Internet is a wonder to enable communication between people, yet we still have to learn how to handle properly these dematerialized interactions, especially when blogging I guess. Thank you for sharing your insights on the subject, hopefully they will serve me as well.

    I’m new to blogging but still haven’t tried the twitter experience. I think I have prejudices on it, considering it like a space where noise prevails on ideas. What do you use it for, for example ?

    Reply

  44. This was a lot of fun reading about the “social etiquette” of wordpress (which I think will continue to perplex me for a very long time…). Also loved the IT crowd picture, always makes me giggle!

    Thank you for the interesting read! I hope you do well :)

    Reply

  45. I understand where your coming from completely, I am brand new to blogging and started it to get my Uni business magazine more popular and so the amazing writers we have can have their chance to shine but I am useless at all things technology so it’s nice to know I’m aren’t alone!

    Reply

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